A Price to Pay
by TheLittleOwlChild
Summary: A series of hurt/comfort oneshots with epileptic!Merlin. As a result of having great magical power, Merlin has regular seizures.
1. Chapter 1 - Gaius

For years, it had just been another of Merlin's well kept secrets. Like his magic/ the fact that he was the most powerful warlock to ever walk the earth.

Every morning he would take a special drought of herbs that Gaius prepared, and that was that. Of course there were occasional incidents, but Merlin was good at recognising the signs, and would head straight for cover as soon as his aura – usually a sharp, bitter smell – came. This usually meant retreating to his room in Gaius's chambers, or hiding in the unused quest quarters.

Being the secret protector if Camelot and having epilepsy wasn't ideal, but it was manageable.

Gaius had known from the beginning, of course. Hunith had mentioned it in the letter she had sent him; along with instructions for the herbal tincture she usually prepared to prevent them. It was her own recipe, something she had developed some time around Merlin's seventh birthday when, as his magic ability intensified, the number of seizures had spiked above a manageable level.

It hadn't stopped the attacks, but it had decreased the number significantly. Merlin went from having several a day to one or two a week – and as his magic settled down, only one or two a month. As long as he remembered to take his remedy every morning, he was fine.

"It's not that I mind saving Arthur," the warlock was explaining to his mentor one evening at dinner. "It's just, I wish he'd show a bit of appreciation once in a while."

Gaius gave him a sympathetic look "It's not forever, Merlin, and you know it's the safest thing right now."

After reluctantly agreeing, Merlin turned back to his broth. The stale bread wasn't quite so hard once it had absorbed a fair amount of the thin liquid, but you had no pull it out at the right moment or it turned into soggy mush.

Gaius continued to pursue the healing journal he was reading; a thick volume with pages so delicate he had to turn the paper slowly to prevent it from tearing (this was one of the books he had forbidden Merlin to touch unless supervised). Every now and again he would turn to take a loud slurp from his own broth.

A couple of minutes later Gaius looked up to ask his ward what time he was attending Arthur tonight, only for the words to freeze on the tip of his tongue. The warlock was staring blankly into space, eyelids flickering. One hand, resting on the table beside his bowl, was twitching repeatedly.

Gaius got up quickly and moved to Merlin's side, knowing that it would be over soon. He was right – barely ten seconds had passed before Merlin came back to life, looking down at his broth in confusion at the disintegrated remains of his roll, congealed to the sides of the bowl.

"Merlin?" Gaius asked, and the boy seemed startled to find his mentor beside him.

He looked down at the bowl, and then back up at the physician, before realisation dawned in his features.

"Sorry." He sighed, voice slightly slurred, but smiled at the old man in reassurance. The first couple of times it had happened in front of Gaius he had felt embarrassed - but they were well beyond that now.

"There's nothing to be sorry about." Gaius told him sternly, looking into his eyes to check his pupils. He gently lifted Merlin's wrist to take his pulse, and was relieved to find it strong and steady. "Do you feel tired?"

The boy nodded, frowning. Even small seizures like this could sometimes make him feel sleepy. But he was supposed to be attending Arthur tonight -

"I'll send a message with the guard that I need your help preparing a tonic. The prince will have to undress himself for once."

Merlin smiled, grateful for his mentor.


	2. Chapter 2 - Gwen

**A/N: Beta'd by Caldera32 :)**

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Gwen had seen Merlin have a fit several times before, so she knew what to expect when a guard came to her with the message to attend the court physician immediately.

The maidservant arrived to find the main room empty, but that was no cause for alarm. Gaius would be upstairs with Merlin.

She opened the door to her friend's room quietly, and Gaius turned to greet her with a tired-looking smile. His charge was stretched out on the bed; sleeping peacefully with his jaw hanging open, dribbling on the pillow. Gwen felt her heart give a squeeze of sympathy for her friend. Exhaustion was etched in lines across his young face - though he seemed to be having pleasant dreams, which was a relief.

She had sat by his side after particularly bad seizures before, and sometimes he tossed and turned so restlessly she wasn't sure she'd even be able to determine if another fit had started.

"Thank you for coming." Gaius rose from the stool by Merlin's bedside, joints creaking after hours of being immobile. "I wouldn't have called for you – they weren't too bad, it's just he's had three already this evening, and..." he trailed off but Gwen understood. She placed a gentle hand on the old man's shoulder.

"It's fine; I'm glad to help. It's not normal for him to have so many at once though, is it?" Her brow creased in concern and Gaius shook his head, frowning.

"He's been working too hard. I should have been keeping a closer eye on him, made sure he was getting enough sleep, but with everything that's been going on –" He cut himself off with a sigh, again leaving the sentence unfinished. He didn't want to think about all that.

"Don't worry about it, Gaius. I'll keep an eye on him tonight."

"Thank you, Gwen," the physician replied, his tone full of gratitude. He did not need to remind her to call for him if anything happened – they had both done this before. Gwen would watch Merlin for signs of another seizure, and if anything worried her she would run for Gaius. In the morning they would make sure the manservant had a good breakfast before sending him off to Arthur.

Merlin having a seizure during the day was a rare occurrence, but Gwen always worried about what would happen if there wasn't someone there to help him. Gaius said the medicine he took, which kept the fits at bay most of the time, also helped to reduce their violence. The manservant had only had a few major seizures since coming to Camelot.

It had been one of these that Gwen had walked in on the day that she discovered her friend had epilepsy.

The day was drawing to a close, and Gwen was relieved. She had one more chore to do – cleaning the ornaments in the spare guest chamber to stop the dust from building up.

As she walked past the prince's chambers she heard a commotion. He was yelling about how that useless servant of his still hadn't brought his dinner and the maidservant winced, knowing Merlin would have a hard time when he finally delivered the food - though she sometimes thought Merlin brought it on himself. The rest of them managed to be punctual with meals, and they all had lists of chores to do. It was the sort of thing that would have gotten any of Arthur's previous manservants fired. Not that they hadn't all been fired anyway, for breathing too loudly or not polishing his armour to a satisfactory shine.

It was a miracle that Merlin had lasted this long – what was it, half a year now? – when his predecessors had been lucky to last a week.

The maidservant approached the guest chamber, wondering why the door had been left ajar when it was usually kept locked. She slipped the key back into her pocket, opening the door fully and walking in before shutting it behind her.

That was when she heard the noise, a choking sound and a repetitive thudding. Her eyes widened as she took in the elaborately embroidered bed cover which had been half dragged off sideways, a cushion resting on the edge. She couldn't fathom what could be making such a noise or where it could be coming from, but as she approached the bed to straighten the covers she saw a shape jerking on the floor on the far side of the bed. As Gwen rushed forward to help she saw a flash of red neckerchief and almost screamed in horror. It was Merlin.

At the time the maidservant had fancied herself in love with Merlin. It was sensible enough; he was beautiful in an awkward kind of way - with long limbs, high cheek bones, and bright blue eyes that sparkled in amusement when she made a joke - and he was good, and kind; quite possibly the most gentle man she had ever met. He was the prince's manservant; she was the princess's maidservant. It had made sense.

Gwen had been just about to call out for the guards, rushing to Merlin's side, when the jerking suddenly halted and Merlin fell limp. His eyelids fluttered, and then he noticed her. The warlock gazed up in confusion before suddenly sitting up in alarm; those pretty eyes bright not with amusement, but with fear. At first she didn't realise it was she he was scared of.

"It's alright, Merlin," she reassured him worriedly, wrapping an arm around his back when he started to fall towards the floor with a gasp. "You'll be fine. I'm going to send someone to get Gaius; if we just lay you back down–"

"No!" he cried, trying to break her hold on him. "Please, Gwen, you weren't supposed to see..." His eyes were wild with panic. It was frightening; she had never seen her friend so unsettled.

"Merlin," the maidservant said comfortingly, her voice soft though it wavered a little, "you had a fit."

Her friend slumped against the bed in exhaustion, taking a deep, unsteady breath and raking a hand through his hair, gripping it at the roots. "I know," he said at last. "That's why I came in here."

Gwen frowned in confusion and moved her other arm to support Merlin as he became heavier in her arms. "What do you mean?"

The warlock sighed and closed his eyes in defeat. For a moment Gwen thought he had passed out, and was about to shout for a guard when his eyes snapped open again. "I have epilepsy."

She sat silent, not understanding.

Merlin let out another long sigh. "It's a medical thing. It means I have seizures sometimes. They're not usually this bad, and I'm always okay afterwards, but I do get a bit tired."

Gwen's mouth hung open in shock. How had she not known? She was his friend- his best friend! And she wanted to be more than a friend...

"Gwen?" The manservant asked in a small voice, thick with exhaustion. "It doesn't make a difference. I'm still me; I'm still the same Merlin I was before - but you mustn't tell anyone. Promise me, Gwen; promise me you won't tell Arthur."

"Oh, Merlin." The maidservant exhaled, pulling him into a tight hug. "I promise. But why can't Arthur know? I'm sure he'd understand, and then you wouldn't have to hide..."

Her friend shook his head sadly. "He'd think I was weak."

There were tears in his eyes and, seeing that this was clearly upsetting Merlin, Gwen decided to change the subject. "How often do they happen? How often do you come in here?"

"Not often, most are smaller, less noticeable... Gwen?" He murmured, laying his head on her shoulder, "I'm tired."

And then Merlin fell asleep in her arms.

Sitting on the stool by her best friend's bed, Gwen smiled fondly at the memory. She had sat on the floor holding him for about an hour while he drooled on her shoulder just as he was drooling now. Gaius had found them; he had gone searching for Merlin after guessing what had happened.

Between them they got Merlin back to the physician's quarters and into his bed. That was the first night she had sat by his bedside in watch, and when he woke up they had a _very_ long conversation.

At the time Gwen had thought her heart was going to burst with love for this brave, beautiful man. Since then, of course, she'd realised what it was truly like to be in love. Arthur had shown her that. The emotion she had felt for Merlin was no more than a crush combined with the concern of a friend.

But now, as she looked down at the man she thought of as a brother, she felt as though her heart would burst still. The incident had solidified their friendship; she understood what telling her had meant. She was the only person in Camelot, besides Gaius, who knew about Merlin's illness.

The maidservant wished that he would tell Arthur, but she understood now why he couldn't. The dangerous situations that the prince managed to get himself into... Merlin, the ever loyal servant and friend, wanted to be at his side. She almost laughed. The idea of Merlin protecting Arthur from a threat was, quite frankly, very amusing - but the man was clever, she'd give him that. She didn't doubt that those brains of his, hidden behind his silly smile, had gotten the pair out of more than one sticky situation. Though her Arthur would, naturally, always take the credit.

She silently cursed for allowing herself to call him hers. Arthur was not hers. He was a prince, she was a maidservant. It could never be.

Merlin turned over in his sleep, smacking his lips. Gwen reached out to hold his hand, smiling fondly. He didn't deserve to be ill like this, but she had made a promise to herself that very first night – a promise that he would never again have to suffer alone. It was a promise she was determined to keep.

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**Hey, thanks to the people who followed/favourited/reviewed this so far :D I was thinking of doing Arthur finding out next (I've written most of it already), but it'll be split into two parts because it's pretty long. After that it's up to you guys. What do you want to see? ;)** **Annie x**


	3. Chapter 3 - Arthur (part 1)

**Chapter 3: Arthur (part 1)**

**Beta'd by Caldera32**

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Arthur liked to think of himself as quite an observant person. As a prince and a warrior it was one of the skills he needed to have in order to recognise and overcome threats to his city. But the truth was, although Arthur was excellent at spotting trails in the woods or picking up on his opponent's weaknesses during a duel, he was awfully unobservant when it came to everyday things- especially concerning his manservant.

Arthur _had_ noticed the herbal draught Merlin took in the mornings they were on their hunting trips or overnight patrols. However, he'd never really thought anything of it. The manservant was normally up before him, for obvious reasons, so he'd only seen him the few times he had woken up early or been last on watch.

That's why he was confused to see the panicked expression on his manservant's face when a knight accidentally trod on and crushed a small glass vial which Merlin had left on the ground alongside his spare neckerchief as he searched his bag for dried herbs.

The boy was staring at the smashed glass in shock, watching the liquid seep into the dirt as though it was his very life bleeding into the ground.

"Have you found the herbs yet, _Mer_lin? The prince asked, startling the manservant out of his reverie. Merlin plastered his usual daft grin on his face, shook his head, and continued to search.

Arthur rolled his eyes. At this rate they'd have no dinner at all unless Merlin got a move on and started cooking. He told his manservant so and before long the flavouring herbs had been found and the rabbits were roasting on spits. He watched the flames lick at their exposed flanks as the remaining daylight faded and night came.

The stars were out before the meat was fully cooked but Arthur didn't really mind. They sat around the campfire for a while, the knights exchanging friendly banter while Merlin remained uncharacteristically quiet (probably just sulking – the knights had jokingly eaten most of the food again, leaving little dinner for the servant) before going to sleep under the dark sky.

They got up to leave late the next morning; it was the return journey and they had all day to travel. Merlin was acting oddly nervous, which irritated Arthur to no end. The idiot had insisted they leave immediately, instead of waiting until after lunch as Arthur had desired, because he "needed to get back to Gaius". Whatever that meant. He had flittered about the place, forgetting to put out the campfire and then trying to climb up onto his unsaddled horse - the imbecile.

After a few hours of leisurely riding they entered through the bright city gates of Camelot. As soon as he had dismounted Merlin moved as though to head straight to Gaius' quarters but the prince caught him by the back of his neckerchief, swinging him 'round.

"No you don't," he said sternly, quickly losing patience with his manservant. "You need to help me change, and then you need to wash my clothes, clean my hunting gear, and polish my armour. You can help Gaius later."

Merlin made to protest, but Arthur shook his head. "If he needs you, he can send for you." He knew that Gaius would have heard the hunting group return – they always created a racket in the courtyard.

They made it to the prince's chambers alright, but as Merlin tried to help him change out of his riding gear Arthur wondered if he shouldn't have let his manservant scurry back to Gaius after all. He was standing patiently with his arms held out, waiting for Merlin to pull off his leather over-tunic while the boy's shaking hands fumbled with the buckle. The servant wrinkled his nose in confusion which quickly morphed to alarm, then panic. He stepped back abruptly.

"Sire, I have to go..." he muttered, words running together a little as he tried to run towards the door.

"For goodness' sake, Merlin!" He grabbed the younger man's arm, losing his temper. What was up with his manservant today? He was being insufferable.

"Arthur, please!" Merlin begged, trying to pull his arm free, but Arthur held tight.

Something was wrong, and he was going to find out what.

The boy continued to try and shake him off, muttering expletives, and Arthur's anger faded as a sense of unease crept into his mind.

The swearing cut off, though Merlin was still trying to escape- but no; Merlin wasn't trying to shake him off. Merlin was convulsing.

With a frightening gurgle, his friend's eyes rolled back into his head as his whole body tensed and dropped to the floor like a stone.

Arthur only just managed to prevent his skull from smashing against the floor.

"Merlin! Merlin?" Arthur swore, cradling the back of Merlin's head with one hand and trying to pin him down with the other as spasms wracked his body. "Guards!"

Within moments the man stationed in the outside corridor was sprinting to the physician's chambers as Arthur stared down in panic. Merlin's limbs were jerking violently, his face a deathly pale, and horrible choking noises came from his throat. The prince ripped off the scarlet neck scarf, shockingly red against white skin, but it didn't help ease his breathing.

It was getting worse. Soon his friend's head was jolting rhythmically to the side and Arthur felt his stomach plummet as Merlin's shallow breaths cut off all together. He shook so violently it looked as though he was about to shatter.

"Merlin," Arthur whimpered, feeling tears on his cheeks but not caring.

Time was passing strangely while he tried to restrain Merlin, to hold him down so that he wouldn't hurt himself. He wasn't really aware of how long it had been going on when suddenly Gaius was there, kneeling by his ward's side and shouting orders.

"Gaius... he's not breathing... Merlin..." Arthur said desperately, staring at his manservant with fearful eyes.

At the physician's fierce command Arthur stopped pinning the boy down and surrendered his hold on Merlin's head as the guard slipped a pillow underneath.

He was sobbing now, watching his friend's back arc and his face turn blue.

"Why aren't you helping him?" He demanded as Gaius just knelt there, hovering over the boy he claimed to see as a son, making no attempt to stop the seizure.

"We have to let it run its course. Holding him down will do more harm than good," Gaius explained quickly, his voice shaking. "If I try to get him breathing again I could block his airway. We just have to wait."

They couldn't help Merlin? Arthur shook his head in denial. "How long?" He choked out, wanting so badly to take his friend's hand in his own to offer some comfort, but knowing he couldn't.

"Not much longer."

"My sister had a fit once, in the throes of a fever," the guard interjected worriedly. "It was over a lot quicker than this."

Arthur wanted to strike the man down for daring to make the prince feel fear.

"Merlin's are usually about three minutes," the physician said in a tone obviously designed to be calming.

If anything, it had the opposite effect.

"Usually?!" Arthur yelped, and Gaius' eyes widened in realisation of what he had just revealed.

Merlin's shaking had started to calm – he was more twitching than jolting now, although his face remained a worrisome shade of blue. The physician was playing close attention, snapping at Arthur that now wasn't the time to discuss this.

The prince was about to argue when – as suddenly as it had started – the seizure ended and Merlin fell limp.

At once Gaius was working over him, trying to force air into his lungs. For a terrifying minute the boy remained unresponsive, but then his chest started to rise and fall and Arthur felt a rush of relief so strong he almost felt dizzy.

Gaius rolled Merlin gently onto his side. "He should come around in a few minutes," he informed the prince, calm now that his ward was out of danger.

"And he'll be alright?" Arthur hated how much his voice shook. Now that he knew Merlin wasn't dying, he should at least try to regain some composure.

"He'll be disorientated at first, but fine once he's rested, Sire."

"Right," Arthur nodded, glancing at his manservant's pale form. Now that the drama was over, he was started to feel guilt at the way he had treated Merlin earlier.

Merlin woke up after a couple of minutes spent in silence, and Gaius had been right – the boy was very confused. Not everything he said made sense, his words slurring and almost unintelligible, and Gaius had to stop him from hyperventilating more than once. Merlin had eased a little once Gaius had given him a pain draught. It was one that the prince himself had sometimes taken for muscle ache after a hard battle.

The physician comforted his charge with a tenderness that Arthur had never seen in the old man, murmuring soft reassurances and stroking his matted hair as Merlin fell asleep. It was such an intimate moment that Arthur felt uncomfortable, as though he was intruding on something private. One thing was clear from the way both had acted – this had happened before.

The guard carried a sleeping Merlin up to the physician's quarters, Gaius and Arthur following behind in what must have seemed quite a sombre procession. A couple of the servants hurrying through the corridors as they finished off their chores wore expressions of concern at the sight, but Gaius smiled at them reassuringly.

Once he had laid Merlin onto his bed, the guard turned to Gaius (not his prince, thought Arthur with a twinge of annoyance) to await further instructions.

"I'm sorry to ask more of you, but would you mind fetching the maid Guinevere?"

The guard nodded quickly, muttering that it was no trouble at all before turning on his heel and hurrying off. "Why do we need Guinevere?" Arthur asked suspiciously, and Gaius winced.

It hit the prince suddenly, and he felt anger swell inside him. "She knew?" He asked incredulously. "How often has this happened?"

Gaius hushed him, glancing at Merlin's sleeping form.

"She found out by accident. Please, Sire, allow Merlin to explain everything to you himself tomorrow."

Arthur made a sound of frustration, running a hand through his hair, but didn't object. When Gwen arrived, looking endearingly flustered and concerned, the prince headed back to his chambers for what he knew would be a sleepless night.

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**A/N: Hey :) I hope you enjoyed part one! Part two isn't quite as dramatic, though it'll be very heavy on the bromance ;) Thank you to the beautiful people who've suggested situations/characters; I've been working from your ideas and I have a few more one-shots planned. Feel free to suggest stuff if there's anything you want to read, guys.** **Annie x**


	4. Chapter 4 - Arthur (part 2)

**A/N: Hey guys, A Price to Pay is now being beta'd by Caldera32 :) so yeah, gone are the days of bad grammar. Chapters 1 to 3 have already been updated, and here is chapter 4.**

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The next morning Arthur was at the door to Gaius' quarters bright and early. After a tense night of wakefulness (every time he closed his eyes he saw Merlin blue and convulsing) he had gotten up as soon as he deemed acceptable. Of course, there had been no manservant to bumble in and open his curtains with a chirpy comment about new days – which, although Arthur had always found it annoying, today he sorely missed.

After a moment of hesitation, he opened the door and entered.

Gaius was pulling a wooden box off the shelves with slow movements that suggested tiredness. Not seeming to notice the prince, he placed his burden on the table and slid off the lid before taking out a small glass vial.

"That's the same as the one Sir Howard trod on," Arthur realised with a start, surprising Gaius and almost making the old man drop the draught.

"Sire!" The physician exclaimed in surprise. "I didn't see you there." He paused as though processing what Arthur had said, then comprehension lit his eyes.

"Gaius?" Gwen called from Merlin's room, and Arthur found himself scowling. It wasn't fair that she had known when he hadn't.

The old man hurried off to his ward's room, glancing at the prince with a stern look that clearly meant 'stay here'.

Arthur ignored the message, following Gaius up the steps as soon as the physician had entered Merlin's room. It was when he was confronted with the firmly closed door that he accepted he couldn't just storm in uninvited - no matter how much he wanted to.

Arthur was intelligent enough to realise this was a delicate situation, so he decided to hover at the other side of the door and eavesdrop instead. What had that ridiculous servant of his turned him into? He wondered with a sigh as he pressed his ear firmly against the door.

"Gaius? He had another minor. I know you said he couldn't have his medication twice in twenty-four hours, but surely–"

"He can take it now. I've discovered the reason for his mysterious worsening – it seems he didn't take his dose yesterday. A knight trod on the vial."

Gwen let out a little gasp which sounded oddly relieved. "Thank goodness! I mean, not that he didn't get his medicine – that's awful – but he'll be alright now, won't he?"

Arthur felt extremely confused. Merlin took medication? That was what was in that little vial? But why, if this had happened before, was Gwen so relieved that there was a simple explanation?

"Why didn't he come straight to you after they got back?" Gwen continued, and the prince could hear the frown in her voice.

The physician heaved a sigh. "I'm sure we can both guess," he said in a vaguely annoyed tone. Arthur shrank back from the door as he realised it was his fault.

He sat down on the top step, head in his hands. He remembered how confused Merlin had been acting yesterday morning and how he had teased him for it. How he had forced the poor boy to come back to his chambers; finding it amusing to stop his manservant from going to Gaius when he was clearly desperate to. _I didn't know,_ Arthur told himself - but it wasn't working. He felt sorry. He didn't think he'd ever felt this sorry in his life.

He couldn't find the anger he had felt yesterday when he first discovered Merlin had lied to him, that they had all been concealing this from him. He knew there must have been a reason why they'd kept it from him, tried so hard to keep Merlin's condition hidden - but Arthur just couldn't work out what it might be.

It was a couple more minutes until Gaius opened the door to get Arthur only to find the prince sitting there morosely.

"Sire?" The physician placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Merlin's asleep, but you can go in and see him if you'd like." He didn't comment on the fact that Arthur had clearly been attempting to listen in on what was going on, and for that the prince was grateful.

"Yes," he answered shortly, standing up. "Thank you, Gaius." He turned around and went into the room.

Guinevere was sitting on a stool by Merlin's bed, holding his pale hand in hers. She was stroking the back of it subconsciously with her thumb.

Arthur cleared his throat uncomfortably and she looked up, eyes fierce.

"You should have let him come to Gaius," she told him in a hard tone, and Arthur looked down at his feet.

"I know," he replied meekly and Guinevere faltered, surprised. Perhaps she had thought he was going to argue.

There was an awkward silence before Arthur spoke again. "How is he?"

There must have been something in his voice because she visibly softened, and the next time she spoke her tone was sympathetic.

"He had several more seizures during the night. Gaius says he'll be alright, and now that we know the cause-" she paused, taking a deep breath, "well, hopefully they'll stop. They only get this bad if he doesn't take his medicine, but he _always_ takes his medicine..."

"But Gaius said this had happened before," Arthur interrupted. _'Merlin's are usually about three minutes',_ that's what he had said. Arthur would never forget.

"Yes, but they're not normally this bad. Arthur, I'm not supposed to be telling you this - Merlin will want to explain it himself."

Arthur rolled his eyes impatiently. "Merlin is unconscious. I want to know what's going on - Gaius said I could talk to him in the morning!"

Gwen turned away from Arthur, looking back down at his manservant. Her hold on his hand tightened and she reached forward to brush a stray strand of hair from his forehead.

For the first time the prince took a good look at the boy in the bed. He felt his eyes widen in alarm. He hadn't realised how ill his friend looked. Merlin's skin was shockingly pale, tinted grey. He laid limp, eyes closed, and the hand that was held in Gwen's own was slack. If it wasn't for the steady rise and fall of his chest Arthur would have panicked.

"He's exhausted," Guinevere said gently, seeing the worry forming on Arthur's features. "As I said, he had more seizures during the night. Some were pretty bad. It took a lot out of him."

"Gaius said he would be alright," he said quietly. He didn't try to hide the vulnerability that slipped into his tone. He knew Guinevere would see right through him.

The maidservant sighed. "He will be. Gaius didn't realise he hadn't taken his medicine. Sometimes he has one or two at once, but never as many as..." she trailed off. "I told you, Arthur; I'm not the one who should be telling you this. I promised him I never would, you know. The first time I saw him fit he made me promise not to."

The prince didn't want to admit it, but he was hurt. Why was Merlin so insistent about hiding this from him? What on earth did the boy think he would do?

"Idiot," he muttered.

Both he and Guinevere were extremely surprised when a weak voice replied, "Prat."

They turned to the manservant, the maid in relief and the prince in apprehension.

"Merlin, you're awake!" Guinevere beamed at her friend as his eyes fluttered open. "Do you remember what happened? You came 'round a couple of times in the night, but I don't think you were completely aware."

The manservant offered her a small smile. "Probably not," his smile faltered. "The last I remember, I was in the forest..."

Guinevere squeezed his hand, and Arthur shuffled awkwardly.

"You came back from the trip with the others. Merlin, one of the knights stepped on the vial; you didn't take your medicine. You went back with Arthur to his quarters."

Merlin's eyes widened in alarm. "I didn't – he didn't see?"

Guinevere reached forward to take his other hand comfortingly. She didn't need to reply; Merlin could see the answer in her expression.

"No, no... _no,_" the manservant whispered in horror, closing his eyes.

Arthur was feeling distinctly uncomfortable. "Merlin?" He asked tentatively and the boy's eyes shot open in alarm.

The prince turned to the maid in confusion, "But he spoke to me a moment ago - he called me a prat!"

Guinevere glanced at him before returning to comforting Merlin, who had tears in his eyes. "He gets confused sometimes, afterward. Do you want me to send Arthur away, Merlin?" She said gently.

Merlin hesitated for a moment, and then shook his head. "It's alright, Gwen. Can you get Gaius, please?" The maidservant nodded, rising. She gave Arthur a stern look before leaving the room.

Arthur took a step closer to the bed, and his friend sighed.

Then Merlin, taking a deep breath, told him everything. He told him about the seizures he had suffered as a child, how they had gotten worse, how his mother had despaired. That she created the herbal potion, and that he had taken it every day ever since - that it stopped the seizures for the most part but they still happened sometimes. He told him how Gaius had been told, how Gwen had found out, and that nobody else in Camelot knew.

When he had finished, his head had sunk into the pillows in exhaustion. Arthur was sitting on the stool by his side, having come closer and closer to his manservant as the tale went on.

"I think that's enough for today, Sire. You can come back tomorrow," Gaius instructed firmly, and the prince wondered how long the physician and maid had been standing there in the doorway. Probably since Merlin had begun talking.

"I'm leaving," Arthur nodded with a small smile, leaning forward to touch Merlin's shoulder. "Have the week off to rest. After that, we can discuss a revision of your duties."

The servant propped himself up with one arm. "What do you mean?" He asked quickly, ignoring Gwen's insistence that he lay back down.

"Obviously you're too ill to perform the normal duties of a manservant; I wish I'd known sooner. I can get George to do the chores where it would be a danger if you have a fit – and we'll have to find someone else to serve me whilst I'm on quests and patrols–"

"What? No!" Merlin protested. "I'm fine, Arthur! Nothing has changed now that you know; I can still do everything that I did before..." He trailed off when he saw Arthur shaking his head.

"Merlin," the prince spoke condescendingly, "let's be reasonable about this. If you were to have a fit whilst on a horse, or in the middle of nowhere where we couldn't get help, or in front of the royal court whilst you served me at a feast..."

The manservant was now shaking; whether from the physical exertion of holding himself up or in response to Arthur's words, the prince was not sure. He turned to the physician.

"Gaius," he said in a firm voice, "tend to your patient, and please help him to see sense." He turned around and walked out.

It was for Merlin's own good.

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**A/N: In the next chapter Merlin's condition will help Arthur and the knights get out of a sticky situation...**


	5. Chapter 5 - Knights

**A/N: the POV changes at several points, just to let you know.**

**Beta'd by Caldera32**

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Merlin watched from Gaius' chamber window as Arthur and the knights rode through the city gates, capes streaming out behind them in twisting banners of Camelot red. Just a routine patrol.

He couldn't risk it.

The manservant turned to see his mentor watching him, eyebrow raised.

"I'm following them."

Gaius nodded, unsurprised. Merlin had followed them on every patrol Arthur had been on since the prince discovered his epilepsy and banned him from coming along.

With a quick smile at the old physician, Merlin headed for the stables. As he walked he slipped a hand into his pocket; he could feel the cold glass of several small vials. The trip would only last a couple of days, but it was best to bring a couple spare just in case– the manservant had learned that the hard way.

A couple of hours later the patrol was well underway; the knights scouring the landscape for possible threats as they rode, and a certain warlock following at a safe distance. He used his magic to keep track of them, making sure he always stayed just out of sight and sound, but close enough to get there quickly if help was needed.

These patrols usually went smoothly. There was one occasion when Merlin had been required to take out a group of Cenred's men who were trying to ambush the knights from behind, and another when he had doused the campfire when it had grown out of control while the men slept; but for the most part the warlock had not been forced to intervene.

That didn't mean he was going to take the risk, though.

As the evening drew closer, Merlin was glad his 'protective streak' (as his mother called it) had made him follow them today. From mid-afternoon apprehension had been growing in his gut, and he knew what that meant: danger.

Knowing he would need to be able to act at a moment's notice, Merlin slipped off his mount and tethered the mare to a nearby tree, stroking her neck soothingly when she made an uneasy sound.

"I'll be back in the morning, don't you worry," he whispered, giving the horse's head a final pat before creeping off in the direction of Arthur and the knights.

The group had stopped for the night and was setting up camp in a small clearing. Lancelot tended to the horses whilst Leon and Percival set up the beds. Gwaine was trying to light a fire and Arthur was sitting on a log beside him wearing an amused expression.

"If you're so good at it, why don't you give it a try?" Gwaine asked eventually, turning to Arthur in exasperation and holding out the flint and steel.

The prince shook his head, "Not a job for royalty."

The knight sighed, "We need Merlin. He has a knack for lighting damp wood; never worked out how he does it..."

The warlock smiled to himself, allowing a single flame to flare up on the tip of his finger before quickly extinguishing it. Not with flint and steel, that was certain.

He concentrated on a particular log in the would-be fire as Gwaine tried again to light it. As the flint struck the steel and a spark flew, Merlin's eyes flashed gold and a small flame sprang to life in the damp pile of logs.

"I did it!" Gwaine announced, sounding extremely surprised.

Lancelot turned with a grin before continuing to get the horses comfortable, and Arthur rolled his eyes dramatically. "I despair. Now, who's cooking tonight?"

The prince rolled his eyes again when several voices at once explained their deep regret at being unable to cook.

"When we get back to Camelot you're all getting lessons with the kitchen staff. This is the last time I make dinner; is that clear?" Arthur asked in a stern tone when no volunteer was forthcoming.

"I don't know why Merlin can't just come along again!" Gwaine protested, standing up and brushing the dirt from his trousers. "He's the one who does these things."

"I told you," Arthur replied irritably, reaching for a stray stick on the ground to poke at the fire, "Gaius needs him."

The prince's firm tone indicated that the conversation was over, but Gwaine felt suspicious. He walked over to join Percival in unrolling the bedding, and the large knight grunted in greeting.

Gwaine didn't notice the dark figure sitting cross-legged in the trees just beyond the clearing, though Merlin was sitting directly opposite him, but the knight did notice Arthur's frown as the prince jabbed at the flames (now roaring, Gwaine observed smugly). The knight didn't know why or how, but he knew Arthur was lying.

There had been a shift in Arthur and Merlin's relationship lately. You had to be an idiot not to see it, and, as most people presumed Gwaine to be an idiot, it was ironic that he had been the first to spot it.

The thing was, he couldn't quite put his finger on what the change had been. Yes, there had been an alteration to Merlin's duties – over the last few months Merlin had not joined them on any of their trips outside of the castle, or served Arthur in the great hall. Nor had he been left alone to tend the horses or polish the weaponry – if Arthur couldn't watch him do it then another servant was assigned the job. The prince had been watching his servant more closely in general.

If Gwaine didn't know better, he would say that there was mistrust at play here- but Gwaine _did_ know better. If Arthur didn't trust Merlin he would've fired him. The knight had heard the hilarious tales of the manservants of Arthur's past, and their reasons for being dismissed. Not only that, there was also the _worry _in Arthur's glances. Sometimes he would look the boy up and down as though checking for signs of something and sometimes he would order his servant to go sleep, or ask if he'd eaten that morning. Sometimes it was just a brief, unconscious glance and a frown.

Contrary to popular belief, Gwaine was not an idiot. Something was wrong with his friend, and he was going to find out what.

After the dinner had been cooked and shared out amongst the knights (who had all complimented Arthur profusely whilst gagging the slimy meat down), Gwaine went to sit next to Arthur in front of the campfire. The other knights were laughing and joking at the other side of the fire, but the prince had been sitting alone, gazing thoughtfully into the flames. His meal sat untouched beside him.

"What's going on, Arthur- with Merlin?" Gwaine went straight to the point, leaning in as Arthur froze, sitting up and turning to the knight with a stiff expression.

"I don't know what you're talking about," said Arthur simply, and Sir Gwaine growled.

"Yes you do. What happened?"

"Nothing! Gwaine-" Arthur cut off suddenly, jumping up to take a defensive stance. "Did you hear that?" He whispered, and the knight shook his head, frowning in confusion.

The prince shushed his men on the other side of the fire. Their raucous laughter quickly cut off and each sprang to their feet, drawing their swords.

Gwaine did the same.

They backed towards each other, forming a circle around the fire with blades pointed outward.

"Arthur," Lancelot hissed, "we're surrounded."

"I know," the prince replied, taking a deep breath.

There was silence for the space of three heartbeats. Then the enemy attacked.

The clanging sound of metal on metal rang around the clearing as men attacked from all directions, brandishing sharp steel blades and dressed in heavy armour. The knights reacted immediately, lunging forward to join them in battle. It would have been an easy fight – there were not many of them – but the men came to a stop a couple of feet away from the knights, creating their own rough circle.

Gwaine winked at the man nearest him, waving his sword in a taunting manner. The warrior sprang forward as though to begin the battle, but was restrained by a man behind him, grabbing onto the scruff of his tunic.

"We'll get more if we hand them in alive," the second soldier growled, letting his comrade go with a shove that almost sent him to the floor; then he looked up at the circle of knights, who held their swords high in resistance.

"What makes you think you can capture us?" Arthur called arrogantly, his voice firm and strong.

The warrior who had spoken grinned, gesturing for some men still hidden in the trees to come forward.

Gwaine frowned in confusion, lifting his sword still higher before dropping it in horror at the sight before him. Merlin was being hauled forward by two warriors, his head hanging limply forward and his feet dragging across the ground.

The knight let out a low sound of distress, a noise that captured the attention of the warrior who had wanted to attack. The man smirked in cruel amusement. "Not so brave now, eh?" He roared, strutting toward the men and Merlin.

When he reached them he grabbed a fistful of the servant's hair, ripping it upward and forcing the boy to lift his head.

Gwaine could see fear and confusion in Merlin's eyes.

"Found this one on the outskirts of the camp. Thought he'd escaped, did you?" The warrior snarled at the circle of knights, grinning sadistically, "Nah, we caught him first. Sitting there staring into space, didn't hear or see us coming. He's defenceless." He paused menacingly. "Now lower your swords or I'll slit his throat."

The expression on Merlin's face was slowly morphing from confusion to realisation as the warrior, still holding his head up by a fistful of hair, placed a glinting knife against his exposed neck.

Arthur dropped his weapon and the rest of the knights followed barely a second later.

"That's it. Now, tie them up."

Three things happened simultaneously. First, Merlin's features had morphed into an expression of pure terror. Then Arthur, who, Gwaine belatedly realised, was staring at Merlin in the way he had been reflecting on earlier, had shouted the manservant's name. Then, with a cry of alarm, the men that had been holding him up jumped backward.

The manservant fell to the ground in a juddering heap.

Merlin's eyes were half-closed, tremors crawling their way up his body as his limbs seized. Everybody but Arthur froze.

"Merlin!" He called out again, rushing to his friend's side.

The attackers didn't move to stop Arthur, each of their eyes fearfully fixed on the manservant.

Gwaine watched on in terror. It was like something from a nightmare- this couldn't be happening.

"He's possessed!" One man cried at last, scuttling away. Another cried out in alarm and ran for the cover of the trees, followed by two others.

"We won't get no money for this lot! They're hellions, the lot of them!" Declared the main warrior, backing off slowly. The remaining men joined him in his slow retreat.

Gwaine glanced from the men to Merlin, then back again. He wanted to kill them. He wanted to watch their blood run across the ground and leave them to rot like the refuse they were.

He made a decision at the same time as the other knights. They all ran to Merlin.

Arthur was cradling Merlin's head gently with his hands, whispering calming words as the boy choked and gurgled, twitching in the dust.

Percival noticed the little details; how his fingernails were thick with dirt and how his unfocused eyes, half open, flickered to the left every few seconds. He noticed how Arthur's hands shook as they supported his head, stopping it from smashing against the ground.

"Stay back," Arthur instructed, stopping them with a look when they tried to surround their friend. "He needs room."

Sir Gwaine shuffled uneasily, looking as though he was fighting the urge to move forward. Percival stood still.

He had never seen a man seize before. He had heard of it happening, but never realised how terrifying it could be seeing someone so violently ill, so helpless.

"What can we do?" He whispered, voice rough, and Lancelot moved forward to place a hand on his shoulder. The other knights glanced at him before fixing their eyes back on Merlin. Percival was not a man of many words; the fact that he spoke now was testimony to his concern.

"It'll be over soon, don't worry," Lancelot told his fellow knight confidently, squeezing his shoulder once before stepping forward. "Do you need any help, Arthur, or have you got it covered?"

Arthur's gaze stayed fixed on Merlin, but his scowl was still visible. "You know?"

"Yes," Lancelot nodded and slipped off his cloak. "It'll be over soon, but we'll need to keep him warm."

Arthur growled, "I know how to look after my own manservant." He paused. "Gaius gave me a class."

Lancelot chuckled, smiling at the prince's protective stance as he bent over his friend. "You and me both, it seems."

The prince let out a sigh of relief as Merlin's fit ended and his eyes slipped closed, fully unconscious. Arthur gently rolled him onto his side, and Lancelot stepped forward to drape his cloak over the sleeping form while Arthur took off his own to bunch up and place under Merlin's head.

The other knights crowded 'round, and this time Arthur didn't stop them.

"What just happened?" Sir Leon asked in a small voice, and Lancelot bit his lip, looking to Arthur.

"Should I tell them, or would you prefer...?"

"You explain," Arthur stated briskly, eyes still fixed on his servant.

"Okay." Lancelot took a deep breath. "Merlin has this medical condition, it's called epilepsy..."

The prince ignored the knight, watching his friend's face for the first signs of awareness. The hard part was behind them – the seizure hadn't been as bad as the first he had witnessed, and Arthur thought he had dealt with it fairly well.

It was the after-effects that worried him. From the sound of it, Merlin had suffered two that night – one just now, and one while he had been sitting on the outskirts of the camp, presumably keeping watch on them. (Arthur was going to have _extremely_ stern words with the boy as soon as he deemed him well enough to be yelled at.) Though from the warrior's description it hadn't been too serious.

Arthur knew that when Merlin woke up he would be in a state. His friend had been showing signs of a recent seizure when he had been dragged into the clearing: confusion, tiredness; he had collapsed into another whilst a knife was being held at his throat. Arthur wasn't even sure how aware his manservant had been at the time, but he knew he'd need to be there for his friend the moment he woke up.

"I found out not long after I first met Merlin," Lancelot was explaining, "when I came to Camelot the first time. I walked in while he was having a partial seizure – which means it wasn't as bad as the one you just saw, he just went a bit distant for a moment – but he was slumped against the wall and I panicked. Merlin woke up and had to explain it – I wanted to get Gaius but he didn't want to worry him. Gaius realised, of course, the moment he got back."

Leon interrupted, "Is that when he taught you how to manage them?"

"No," Lancelot shook his head, "that was just before I left. He taught me after I came back."

Arthur rested a hand against Merlin's cheek, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest. He remembered his lesson with Gaius, a couple of days after he first found out. The physician had wanted Merlin to come down and help, but the servant had been angry at Arthur and stayed sulking in his room.

Gwen had helped instead, and he had practised rolling her onto her side whilst supporting her head, that kind of thing. Gaius had instructed him on the different types of seizures Merlin might have and how to deal with each of them. Gwen had acted out each in turn, and Gaius had only let him go when he had shown he could deal with each type correctly.

Gwen had been shy about it and blushed an awful lot, but she was a good actor. Arthur supposed it was because she had witnessed so many of Merlin's fits.

"Will we get lessons?" Gwaine asked enthusiastically, greatly cheered now that he understood that Merlin wasn't in danger.

Lancelot looked again to Arthur, who glanced up when he felt the knight's eyes on him.

"Yes, I imagine so," the prince replied steadily, "but it is important that you never tell anyone about Merlin's condition."

Each of the knights nodded seriously.

"Who knows?" Asked Leon, and Arthur sighed.

"Until now, it was just Gaius, Me, Gwen... and Lancelot." Of course, the prince hadn't known that Lancelot knew until now. He was going to have words with Merlin about that. "Gwen walked in on him having a fit in one of the guest rooms not long after he came to Camelot. Now she helps each time it happens. I only found out a couple of months ago. He has this medicine thing that he takes -" Arthur turned to Lancelot, "Did you explain his medicine?"

The knight nodded, and Arthur continued. "Well, he couldn't take it one day because we were out and some bloody oaf stepped on the vial... he had a series of awful seizures when we got back to Camelot..." he missed out the part where he had stopped Merlin from going to Gaius, feeling ashamed. "I only saw the first, but it was very bad," the prince finished quietly, looking back down at Merlin.

The knights stayed silent, absorbing the information.

It was then that Merlin stirred beneath Arthur's hand. The boy rolled his head over slowly, a crease appearing between his brows.

"Merlin?" The prince murmured, palm still resting on his cheek, thumb stroking his cheekbone comfortingly. "Can you hear me? You're alright. You had a seizure, but you're alright."

The servant groaned and his eyes cracked open, dazed and vacant.

"It's okay," Arthur whispered, "you're okay. Just relax."

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**A/N: Hey, the next chapter will be Gwaine based, as an extension to the 'Knights' one here. Thank you to the people who have commented/followed/favourited; remember to drop me a comment or PM if you have a situation request.**

**(This one was based on an idea by Caldera32, and also the suggestions from battlemaiden518 for Gwaine or Percival, Aerist for Gwaine or Lancelot, and Konri Kari for knights or Morgana (who I plan to do later on) so I especially hope you guys enjoyed it. I'm sorry if anyone else suggested knights and I've accidently left you out.)**

**To anyone following The Other Reality, the next chapter is in the process of being written.**

**Annie :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hi, it seems that ff isn't letting me copy and paste files anymore, is anyone else having this problem?**

**Anyway, because I can't copy and paste it I'm uploading this, so if the formatting or anything looks different... that'll be why.**

**(Beta'd by Caldera32)**

"Sir Gwaine, stop it. This isn't a joke!" Arthur growled, and the knight laughed heartily.

"Well, if somebody wasn't so _ticklish–"_ he tickled Merlin's stomach again and the boy, whose slight frame was stretched out on the floor in front of Gwaine, giggled uncontrollably.

"Gwaine – stop or – you'll – have to – practice on – Gaius!" Merlin gasped out, and the knight drew back immediately.

It was Arthur's turn to grin. "Right. Start again, and be sensible this time. The rest of you-" he looked around at the circle of knights surrounding them, "watch closely, and feel free to criticize. Merlin, when you're ready."

Merlin nodded, letting out one final giggle as he closed his eyes and laid still.

Today's training session consisted of a slightly different type of training to usual.

After they had gotten back to Camelot (they left as soon as Merlin seemed stable enough to ride, though he was asleep for most of the journey) and the manservant had been checked over by Gaius, Arthur had proceeded with the yelling.

"What do you think you were doing, following us? You _idiot_, Merlin! I left you behind for a reason! If it wasn't for you, those men would have had nothing against us! We could have beaten them easily!"

It turned out (as Merlin had explained) that the men had actually had magic, though they had kept it hidden while they used Merlin as bait so they had the element of surprise if the knights resisted further. If he hadn't followed and collapsed when he did then, well, there would be no clot-pole around to yell at him.

Of course, if he hadn't had that minor seizure first he would have sensed their approach and quickly picked them off without Arthur and the knights ever knowing they had been in danger. But Merlin didn't tell Arthur that.

In light of this information the prince decided to be a bit more lenient with his manservant. "You can come on trips from now on."

Merlin had grinned. "Can I do other stuff, too? I can sense when the worst seizures are coming, you know. I wouldn't be in any danger."

"You are still not to polish sharp objects or tend to the horses unsupervised," Arthur had replied firmly, "but you may serve me in the hall."

The manservant had been happy with the compromise.

Now that he had his most trusted knights there to keep an eye on Merlin, Arthur felt a lot less worried. He'd written out a sort of duty roster for who would be supervising Merlin while he did his more dangerous chores. Making sure there was always someone in the weapons room while he gathered Arthur's equipment for training, on hand in case anything went wrong.

That was what had led to today's training session. Arthur and Lancelot were instructing the rest of the knights on what to do when Merlin had a fit, while Gaius watched on to make sure they taught everything correctly.

"Shouldn't he be checking his breathing first?" Percival asked, interrupting Arthur's thoughts.

"Yes, he should," Lancelot confirmed, smiling at Percival then turning to smirk at Gwaine, who was scowling.

"It's basic first aid," Arthur sighed. "You're knights, you should know this anyway."

The prince walked over to Gwaine and knelt down opposite him. "You've just walked into the stables and found him unconscious. What do you do? Come on Gwaine, what would you do if he was passed out drunk?"

Gwaine smiled. "Pour beer on his head."

Arthur didn't dignify that with a reply.

"Fine," Gwaine scowled. "I would make sure he's alright and turn him on his side so he doesn't choke on his own sick, but I hardly think-"

"You'd need to do a similar thing here - it's the same really, he's just a different kind of ill. Now, try again, and imagine that it is actually happening."

"But I feel stupid with all of you watching me!"

Merlin opened his eyes with a grin, "Same here. At least you're not lying about pretending to be an invalid."

The knight didn't grin. "I can't do it!" He yelled, standing up and storming off.

The rest of the knights paused, looking at each other with wide eyes. Merlin bit his lip, sitting up and looking hurt.

"It's not your fault, Merlin. You know what Gwaine's like," Arthur said tiredly, resting a hand on his shoulder. "Percival, come and demonstrate for us."

The large knight sprung up, and Arthur pushed Merlin back down before retreating to the edge of the circle.

That evening, Gwaine was sauntering back from the tavern (where he had gone immediately after the disastrous training session and stayed until sundown) when he heard a strange noise coming from the stables. It sounded like a horse was out of its stall.

Muttering to himself grumpily, he went over to investigate.

As soon as he entered his grumbling cut off and he could swear his heart skipped a beat.

There was a mare loose and, half slumped across a pile of hay, was Merlin; eyes vacant, one leg twitching.

Later he asked himself why it didn't strike him as suspicious that he would find Merlin here, especially seeing as it was well known amongst the knights that being in the stables was something Merlin was _not_ allowed to do without supervision. Arthur didn't want his manservant to be trampled to death after passing out in one of the stalls.

It was also very similar to the situation they had been going over earlier when Gwaine had walked out.

At the time, however, he only saw Merlin.

Gwaine took a sharp breath, walking forward slowly and calmly toward the horse. The most important thing was to make sure Merlin was out of harm's way.

"Here, girl," he murmured, drawing the mare's attention. When the knight was close enough he reached out to the horse and guided it away from Merlin, into the nearest empty stall. Once the animal was securely inside he rushed to his friend, who was still seizing.

"Merlin?" He asked quietly, trying to stay calm. This was a partial seizure. What had Arthur said? _Make sure he is in a comfortable position_.

Gwaine gently eased Merlin down to the floor, whispering reassuringly even though he knew it was unlikely the boy could hear him.

He checked his pulse and breathing. Both were steady, if a little fast.

"Right," Gwaine muttered to himself. He couldn't turn him onto his side yet – Gaius had told them all very seriously that trying to restrain somebody having a seizure was one of the worst things you could do – you had to let it play out its natural course.

He just had to wait it out.

It couldn't have been more than thirty seconds later that Merlin stilled, though it seemed to be much longer. The shaking of his leg had stopped, and his eyelids fluttered.

"Hey, Merls," Gwaine said calmly, leaning over his friend, "you with me?"

Merlin mumbled something incoherent under his breath, opening his eyes fully. "Gwaine?"

"That's me," Gwaine grinned. "Do you want me to help you sit up?"

Merlin shook his head slowly. "Might just lie here for a while."

"Okay, mate." Gwaine chuckled, feeling light with relief. He'd done it! He'd helped Merlin and now he was fine, and he hadn't accidentally killed him or made it worse or done something wrong...

"Gwaine?" Merlin asked again, sounding tired, and the knight smiled down at him. "Thank you."

It wasn't until late that night, after he had half-carried a very tired Merlin back to Gaius' quarters and helped the physician get him into bed, that it occurred to Gwaine that he might have been set up.

He asked Merlin about it angrily the next morning.

The manservant had blushed. "It was a genuine seizure."

"But what were you doing in the stables, then?"

"Um, well, we were walking past the stables when I felt it coming, so we went inside - but then we saw you, and you had been so worried and we thought if maybe if you had a chance to prove to yourself that you could do it then–"

"Wait a second, Merlin. Who is 'we'?"

The manservant's colour deepened further. "Arthur was hiding in the hay. He let the mare out to catch your attention."

Gwaine turned around and stormed off, but he had a massive grin on his face. He'd not only proved to himself that he could do it, but to Arthur too. Part of him was furious at Arthur for being there the whole time, allowing him to think that he was alone and putting Merlin in danger like that.

But Arthur hadn't really put Merlin in danger. Gwaine bet that if he had done anything wrong Arthur would have jumped out and helped. The mare had never been a danger either – she was old and docile. The worst she would have done to Merlin is nuzzle him.

None of that mattered. Gwaine had been tested, and he had passed (despite being half drunk at the time). He no longer dreaded the thought of being left alone with Merlin in case something happened. He could deal with it.

The knight laughed, swinging his arms happily. Time for a celebratory drink in the tavern!


	7. Chapter 7 - Gaius II

**A/N: Hi! New chapter, sorry its so short but I wanted to update for you guys :)**

**Beta'd by Caldera32**

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"They're getting worse, Gaius," Merlin announced as he walked into the physician's chambers.

Arthur had excused him after he had an absence seizure whilst polishing the prince's boots. It hadn't been bad at all – he'd just been vacant for a minute or two – but the prince had noticed what everyone else who knew had noticed. Merlin's seizures were becoming more frequent.

The old man sighed, taking in his ward with a practiced eye. "Sit down for me. How are you feeling?"

Merlin reluctantly perched on the end of the patient cot. "I feel absolutely fine, Gaius! Why are they getting worse now? I don't understand..." he trailed off, looking down.

The physician came to sit next to him. "I've been considering this," he said in a reassuring tone. "I don't think it's something you need to worry about. Your seizures are caused by your magic, and it has been a little unstable recently. Your power is growing, Merlin."

The warlock bit his lip, hesitant to speak. "The more..." he faltered before beginning again, lifting up his head to look his mentor in the eye. "The more my power grows, the less able I am to use it. What happens the next time there's an attack on Camelot? It's only luck that I've never dropped during an invasion before. What if Arthur is in trouble and I'm not there to save him? Gaius, I'm going to fail my destiny and it will all be down to this stupid, annoying–"

"Merlin." Gaius interrupted in a stern voice, and the boy cut off, ashamed at having let his thoughts out so freely.

"I'm sorry, Gaius. It's just, sometimes I feel as though this is ruining my life."

The old man wrapped a gentle arm around his ward's shoulders, pulling him into his side. A single tear dropped from the boy's eye, falling onto the shoulder of his mentor and darkening a small patch of his robe.

"My boy." The physician sighed, looking down at the mess of raven waves resting on his shoulder. He tilted Merlin's head up so he could see his face. "This is the way you were made; the way the earth formed you. You will not fail your destiny because you were created for it, with all your strengths and weaknesses."

Merlin closed his eyes and pressed his face against his mentor, sighing. "I'm sorry, Gaius; I just wish things were different. I hate the fits, I hate the way they make me feel afterward, like my brain won't function properly – and I hate the way that people look at me – it's always either pity or disgust..." he mumbled.

Gaius reached out a hand to grip his ward's shoulder. "You must have strength, my boy. You must have faith. There is a plan greater than our own plans, a tapestry of time in which we are only a thread. You will bring magic back to Camelot; you will end the suffering of the people. Once there is magic practiced freely in the kingdom of Camelot, perhaps your own will settle more comfortably."

Merlin nodded. "Before a big seizure starts," the boy explained quietly, "I can feel my magic there, desperate to be released. It presses against the back of my eyes, trying to spill out..."

The physician said nothing, waiting for Merlin to continue, but the warlock seemed to have no more to say. They lapsed into a solemn but comfortable silence, Merlin's eyes shut tight against the world.

"There will be a time," Gaius whispered after a couple of minutes, "when you'll see all this has be worth it. I promise you, Merlin, you won't have to hide forever."

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**A/N: Please let me know what you think, and feel free to drop in suggestions :)**


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